Adventures on my book tour

Newly returned from Europe and still feeling a little tingly from the frisking I received at Heathrow Airport, I can't help but notice a few things about "America" have changed during my absence. For instance, that damn Snow Patrol song is EVERYWHERE. Also, I think my apartment got smaller.

So I'm back from my backpacking excursion through Eastern Europe (the correct term now is "Central Europe", but judging by the quality of toilet paper in most of my hostels, I'm going to assume that's a joke), and it's quite evident that people in other parts of the world still think Americans are stupid, despite our triumph over evil in, um...Afghanistan? Iraq? Syria? I mean, what? Who said that? Anyway, I've also learned that there are few skills that serve you as well as the ability to speak English and pretend you're not from America. For instance, since I am gifted with colored skin, when a Scottish couple approaches me and asks for directions in English in say, Bratislava, I am able to pretend that me not know Engleesh so good, but think it's this vay, thereby avoiding the awkward conversation on the American real estate bubble, and why this time, it's just not going to get any better for us.

Ok, so this post wasn't about my book tour. But sometimes, I think you just read the headlines and pretend you know what's happening in my life. And it hurts.

Free Love on the Free-Love Highway

Touring Asia to promote RBIE has left this writer little time to dedicate to actual posts. Knowing that Jindeh and Men's Lady would pick up the slack provided some peace of mind, but as i'm nearing the last leg of the tour (currently in Topsail, North Carolina -- ironically, a tiny province of south-eastern China), i'll soon be able to get back to RBIE's mission statement: alerting our readers to all newsworthy issues, such as (and this is just a preview of a few suggested topics) ---

1) Third year of law school: another big mistake or the last leg of a really big past mistake?

2) Who is the better ice-dancer: Ahmadinejad or Nasrallah? (this one will be an online vote. America decides.)

3) Paris Hilton: A Mother Theresa in the making?

4) Lindsay Lohan and Anne of Green Gables: Similarities/Differences

5) 2006 Vacation Hot-Spots: Beirut on 2 limbs a day.

6) Possible explanations for why Stephen Colbert wont return my calls

7) Possible explanations for the restraining order I received today from Stephen Colbert.

8) The first in a ten series special on tapping unconventional sources of single, eligible men: Why you shouldnt overlook the local penitentiary.

and much much more!!! So stay tuned. Our faithful readers will not be disappointed. Our unfaithful readers will most likely get herpes...the strain that Valtrex can't mask.