Thursday, July 13, 2006

Ruining My Potential for Public Office

As those of you who keep up with my MySpace page may have heard (of course you do- why wouldn't you?), I have recently become a casual dater. This is a wonderful idea and less whorish than hedge fund dating, because with the losers I tend to date, it's important to not get too attached to any of them at all. My most recent catastrophe involved a fireman who lived with his mother and flashed me in the refrigerator at a bar on the Upper East Side. Let that be a lesson to the kids: just because he wears a hat for living, doesn't mean he's not a psycho pervert.

Anyway, I have a date tonight with a man I met in a bar, where all the winners are on weeknights, who offered me drugs. Not in a "Psst. Psst. Come here, kid."-kind of way, but in a "So, do you do anything other than drink?"-kind of way. He's not a dealer (he works in bonds and derivatives...more of a Wall Street cokehead than anything else), but gosh darnit, wouldn't that be okay as long as he's buying me dinner? What? No? You're way too uptight.