Adventures on my book tour

Newly returned from Europe and still feeling a little tingly from the frisking I received at Heathrow Airport, I can't help but notice a few things about "America" have changed during my absence. For instance, that damn Snow Patrol song is EVERYWHERE. Also, I think my apartment got smaller.

So I'm back from my backpacking excursion through Eastern Europe (the correct term now is "Central Europe", but judging by the quality of toilet paper in most of my hostels, I'm going to assume that's a joke), and it's quite evident that people in other parts of the world still think Americans are stupid, despite our triumph over evil in, um...Afghanistan? Iraq? Syria? I mean, what? Who said that? Anyway, I've also learned that there are few skills that serve you as well as the ability to speak English and pretend you're not from America. For instance, since I am gifted with colored skin, when a Scottish couple approaches me and asks for directions in English in say, Bratislava, I am able to pretend that me not know Engleesh so good, but think it's this vay, thereby avoiding the awkward conversation on the American real estate bubble, and why this time, it's just not going to get any better for us.

Ok, so this post wasn't about my book tour. But sometimes, I think you just read the headlines and pretend you know what's happening in my life. And it hurts.