Monday, April 17, 2006

When Professors Are Too Forthcoming...

"What I will be going over today will not be on the exam. Please don't leave."

And so starts my last day of Evidence class. I'm not psyhic (per se) but i'm going to venture a guess as to how it ends:

me being woken up by my roommate (who also sits next to me in class), and yelling out "I object!" on instinct, thereby attracting the disdain of my professor and securing my place at the very bottom of the class.


Update: Turns out I was more productive in class than I expected: Comic strip Generator

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

I Hope My Divorce is Never Granted

It's a sad country song by Kitty Wells, my life. Since joining myspace, I've given up men in favor of online stalking the ones I've already made out with (it's actually working out kinda well, and I very rarely have to weather a conversation with one of them). But don't worry-- this has not stopped me from doing stupid things. For instance, I made out with a guy in a bathroom during a party about 6 months ago, and he and I drunk dial each other now and then. Unfortunately, it seems we're never drunk at the same time. As those of you who have endured the loss of your first love (i.e. Chris Martin) might know, timing really is everything in a relationship. So, I've started to call my thesis my boyfriend. He's really sweet--we go to the park on sunny days and read the Sunday Times together. It's not sad. You don't need an actual man to make you happy. You need an actual man to buy you jewelry, but that's sort of it. Right? No, I am not shallow! Shut up. You don't know me.

Oh! And in European news, there's a little bit of a power struggle happening in Italy, which I looked up and am pretty sure is part of Europe. It'll probably resolve itself nicely, with Silvio Berlusconi launching a major media campaign against Romano Prodi, who will promptly do nothing. It's funny how the proactive right vs. inactive left-thing works out in Europe too. Let that be a lesson to the kids--Americanization/globalization is a real thing. That, and don't trust whitey.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Where Have You Been???!!

So we havent posted in a while. Well, nothing newsworthy has really happened, has it? A lot you say? Well, shit. We'll have to read up on that and get back to you.

In the meantime, here's a random story to keep you occupied:

One time i got really drunk at my parents' annual new year's party (i emphasize the annual part to suggest that they had one every year...not because i'm dumb and dont realize that new years only comes around once a year) and had to hide it because 1) i was 20 years old, 2) i was at my parents' new year's party.
Accomplishing this became especially difficult when i was asked to dance with my dad in front of ALL the guests. Until that point, i'd been really content just sitting in a corner and smiling at everyone with a glazed look on my face. I started dancing, still not drunk enough not to be mortified, and had to hold on to my dad the entire time so i wouldnt fall. (which wouldnt be weird but for the fact that iranian dancing does not require touch...we werent supposed to be waltzing)
my mother, always the quicker of my two parents, caught on and ended the song, and while everyone was politely clapping, she led me to my bedroom, asked me if i'd been drinking (an accusation i vehemently denied...not in words so much as in the bobbing from side to side of my head), and told me to go to sleep before i embarassed myself.
the next afternoon, i woke up to find some water, aspirin, and a note from my mom next to my bed that said "i told your dad that you were feeling sick. it's the first day of the year and i didnt feel like telling him his daughter might be an alcoholic. i'd appreciate it if you could stay sober for the rest of today. love, mom"