Where Have You Been???!!

So we havent posted in a while. Well, nothing newsworthy has really happened, has it? A lot you say? Well, shit. We'll have to read up on that and get back to you.

In the meantime, here's a random story to keep you occupied:

One time i got really drunk at my parents' annual new year's party (i emphasize the annual part to suggest that they had one every year...not because i'm dumb and dont realize that new years only comes around once a year) and had to hide it because 1) i was 20 years old, 2) i was at my parents' new year's party.
Accomplishing this became especially difficult when i was asked to dance with my dad in front of ALL the guests. Until that point, i'd been really content just sitting in a corner and smiling at everyone with a glazed look on my face. I started dancing, still not drunk enough not to be mortified, and had to hold on to my dad the entire time so i wouldnt fall. (which wouldnt be weird but for the fact that iranian dancing does not require touch...we werent supposed to be waltzing)
my mother, always the quicker of my two parents, caught on and ended the song, and while everyone was politely clapping, she led me to my bedroom, asked me if i'd been drinking (an accusation i vehemently denied...not in words so much as in the bobbing from side to side of my head), and told me to go to sleep before i embarassed myself.
the next afternoon, i woke up to find some water, aspirin, and a note from my mom next to my bed that said "i told your dad that you were feeling sick. it's the first day of the year and i didnt feel like telling him his daughter might be an alcoholic. i'd appreciate it if you could stay sober for the rest of today. love, mom"