What its like out here in the "real world"

(CAUTION: This is really, really long)

The latest example of the ridiculousness that occurs in the workplace:

Our office has 4 floors, each floor with about 50 or so people. Each floor is equipped with a stunning (read sarcastically) kitchen, complete with a refrigerator. Nothing else. No coffee pot, no toaster, no microwave, no water cooler, Nothing! (How are we supposed to stand around and talk water cooler talk without one??? No one to discuss the latest epi of Project Runway with--which was a bunch of BS if you ask me. Instead of hyping it as a reunion special, they could've just called it the "PsychoBitch Show" for displaying how NUTS Santino, Andrae, and Zulema are.) Sorry, where was I?

Ok, so my office is a really ridiculous place. If we need to use any of these modern conveniences, we must buy them ourselves. Someone was nice enough to either buy a microwave or donate one to the cause on each and every floor (maybe the office bought them back in '82, when they had the money to spend, because these things are that old). Ok, so first the microwave on the 6th floor broke. Being too cheap to chip in a few bucks for the team, the 6th floor denizens didn't get a new one and would rather use the one on the 5th floor. But yesterday, the one on the 5th floor broke, which leaves us with (4-2=? c'mon kids, you need to practice your math. You're going to need to learn to bill people for all those hours you spend on their cases) 2! Yes, just 2 microwaves to serve an office of about 200 people.

I decided to spearhead the effort to get a new microwave because I like to TRY and save money by bringing in lunch like once a week. But there are people that use it all the time. I asked for $2 from each person, expecting people to run to their wallets and fork over the cash because its really not too much to ask. About 10 people gave me money. The other 100 people that would benefit from a microwave have expressed that either (a) they do not think its fair if they give money when they know other people won't, and they don't want those "moochers" to use it, or (b) they claim that they don't use it. Regardless, is $2 too much to ask?! If you use it once in your life, its worth it, no? What the hell is wrong with people? One woman even said that, rather than have said "moochers" use it, she would rather buy one for herself and not let anyone else use it. What is the sense in that? She'd rather pay $70 for one to be a selfish biyotch rather than give $2 to help the office out? You should see her office, she has a million little pieces of flair around-- potted plants, stuffed animals, pictures, etc. She obviously has money.

So, in the meantime, I am left begging for money from these people. If you want to contribute to the fund, let me know. I seriously feel like Sally Struthers... "Look at these poor, malnourished children. For less than a cup of coffee, you can have a microwave!!" It almost makes me want to buy one for myself.....

On another note, my office also has its very own Milton from "Office Space." I kid you not. The guy looks just like him and works in the supply room. He hoards all the office supplies. When you ask him for paperclips, he gives you like a handful. "Not my stapler!"