A Day In the Life...

So, you've been asking yourself, "What is it like to be at a top-tier law school (or one very close to being top-tier, ok. fine. an ABA approved law school...since 2004.)? I bet the class discussions are off the hook...all those brains in one room discussing government and shaping the future of the American judicial system..."
Well, wonder no more, my inferior friend...below is a copy of one law student's notes in Civil Procedure. Most identities have been protected in case some of these people stumble upon this blog and decide they want to kick some Chatouille ass...everything else is verbatim.

Class Topic: Trial by Jury.

Question one: Juries...Who needs 'em? (begin "thoughtful class discussion").

Anonymous Student 1: “Why should people with education and experience decide everything? Back home in Hickville, we have people with very minimal education and precarious social skills represent an entire state in the legislature! I mean these people sign their names with Xs and some view showering as an option…and they make laws! That, in my opinion, is what America is all about.”

Jim*: “Jurors are great because they decide on their emotions instead of relying on boring laws and evidence like judges. Do you think what I just said is revolutionary?...Because I’ve always seen myself as more of a philosopher than the friendless law student the girl next to me implies I am.”

Anonymous Student 2: “Judges are assholes too…who can trust them to make decisions? I mean, come on, they used to be lawyers.”

Anonymous Student 3: “Why don’t all of you Loyalists who are against the jury system go back to Old England and get f*ed by Feudal Lords…un-American bastards”

Professor Peterson: “How HOT am I right now??”

Next Question: Is it fair to strike jurors because of their sex or race?

Anonymous Student 4: “Depends on whether you’re asking me that as a citizen or as a lawyer trying to win a case.” (Translation: I plan on being a crooked lawyer and I want everyone to know it.)

Inside My head: Are we talking about physically striking people or is there some legal meaning to “strike” that has eluded me?...Because that would definitely affect my answer…Let’s face it, some people are just begging for a good beat-down, and often those people are women and minorities.

Jim: (making a completely irrelevant comment yet again) “I think that pink elephants should be allowed to hop over rainbows.”

Professor Peterson: “Supreme Court has held that lawyers cannot strike jurors based on gender…when I just said that, it was HOT right??”

END of Discussion.
* Jim’s anonymity is not protected because 1) the bastard sits next to me so every time he has a light-bulb moment and feels like sharing it, I have to quit my Solitaire game and pretend to pay attention, 2) having one real name in the transcript makes it "come alive" for the reader, or so I've been told.