Get Some While You Can Allah

Earlier today in Brussels, President Bush declared that it is "simply ridiculous to assume that the United States has plans to attack Iran over its alleged nuclear weapons program." This statement came in the face of recent media revelations about the U.S. Government's not-so-secret-anymore surveillance of Iranian nuclear facilities.

The statement was a welcome assurance to Iranian officials who have spent weeks worrying that their wives and mistresses would definitely not put out with so many hot and significantly less hairy American soldiers milling about the streets, in the event of a lengthy U.S. occupation.

Their respite was brief however, as Bush then added, “Anyway, haven’t we already invaded Iran?..Oh, I see, so we’ve attacked Iraq…and you’re sure they’re not the same place? Hmnn..how hot are Iranian women?”

This humble journalist, having it on good authority that Iranian women are in fact HOT enough to have it written in rhinestones across their chests, doesn’t see this episode ending well for the Mullahs. You heard it here first.