I heart fat boys

Another happy season of The Bachelorette has come to a close, and I again feel the need to ask, is pornography really that expensive? Do these obviously attractive, lovely women who subject themselves to television's most dashing single men (a rare selection), who tend to be of only average intellect and lower-than-normal-percentage bodyfat, really have no way to break their own hearts in their stupid, little small towns the old-fashioned way?

Also, remember Bob? The fat guy bachelor, who got his own bachelor show, then dissed that girl to marry a woman from a soap opera? He's got a CD out now, and can I just tell you, fat guys work extra hard to make up for what's missing physically. Thank god.

If we can learn anything from The Bachelorette, let it be that fat men are made for pleasure.