My Favorite News Anchor is Dead

Today being the first in over a week that I've had access to any kind of news outlet, I was devastated to learn about the untimely death of Peter Jennings, my favorite Canadian...well, one of the few I fantasized marrying and having a dozen children with...which we would then sell on ebay of course, using the extra cash flow to buy out ABC and have our own 24 hour news channel starring Peter. Sigh. Another dream deferred.

Smoking is bad and you shouldn't do it. In the words of my favorite European cigarette warning, "smoking will cause you to die a slow and painful death." Learn from Peter's mistakes. Then again, my cousins' constant bickering over the last week (and current loud snoring while i'm trying to type this heartfelt memorial post) makes me think that some people deserve to die young. I'm not so sure about the slow part, but painful shouldn't be too hastily dismissed.

Where was I? Oh yeah, the news is gonna suck now--even more so than Swedish news...which really bites by the way. My cousin tells me it's because i don't speak Swedish, but i know its because the news anchor has a faux-hawk and the beginnings of a mullet...i think i'll send him some cigarettes.