I love you. Not like a man loves a woman, but like a man loves a fine cuban cigar.

Ah, it's that time of year. School is over and summer is about to begin. For gradeschool children and graduate school 20-somethings alike, it is a bittersweet moment, filled with goodbyes, see you laters, and godammit, we should have hooked ups (gradeschool kids are such whores nowadays).

A strange (fucked up, if you will) phenomenon that I’ve witnessed during this time is the unwarranted outpouring of affection from people whose existence you previously regarded as “unnecessary” at best. These are the people whom, while you weren’t wishing for their deaths in any way (nervous laughter), you knew that if you should hear about them getting run over by a milk truck, you would be shocked, sure—tell you friends and family, maybe—sit on their memorial bench, of course---but that’s probably as far as your emotional response would go. When these people come up to you at a bar and start telling you how much they’re “gonna miss you” and that “you rock,” you start to question your indifference towards their life and worry about whether they’ll make it home ok and if they’re taking all their vitamins. It’s really unfair what a drunken “I love you” can inspire in a person.

I guess in the end, there’s something beautiful about the togetherness felt at the end of the school year. I suspect it’s triggered by a sense of nostalgia for anything associated with that period of your life. If the class podium somehow showed up at a bar, there would be no less than thirty people waiting to tell the podium how amazing it is and how much they LOVE it. And you know what? I bet the podium loves you back.

Finally, I’d like to send a message to someone “special” just in case I don’t see them before August:

Dear “I think your name starts with an A,”
I’m really gonna miss all the times we said “hey” to each other outside the library on the second floor. I think I talked to you once at a bar review too. We both agreed that night that the weather was “in fact shitty.” Anyway, I just want to let you know how much your friendship has meant to me. Stay sweet. Keep in touch. And yes, I love you.

(now to go wipe off the tears).