I Faked It.

A new study reveals that cell phone users often fake phone conversations. Are you kidding me?! How is it possible that I, who already spend endless hours a day in an alternate fantasy world in which everyone loves and admires me for fear that I will smite them, did not think of this?
Just contemplating all the uncomfortable phone conversations I could have faked to make my train ride more enjoyable ("You did WHAT with that girl?! How could you? I'm pregnant, you bastard...with triplets...no, no, don't tell your brother yet; he'd be crushed. We're still in couple's therapy, afterall") makes me regret the minutes I've wasted talking to real, less attractive people.

At the same time, the study also makes me insecure about all the times I've walked up to someone just as they recieved an "important call." Were they lying to me just to avoid my company? (absurd, i know.)

Please don't ever do that to me. I hate smiting.