"Signs" or "Why My Third Grade Math Teacher Was a Failure"

Sign That Your Day is Looking Up!
It's 11 am. You haven't had breakfast and only have five minutes until your next class to grab a bite to eat. You head over to the vending machine, thinking to yourself that you probably don't have any cash and you might as well go straight to class instead and at least skim the reading you were supposed to do last night. You tell yourself to shut up (but not aloud this time...you've learned your lesson) and remain hopeful that the clinking sound in your wallet is made by big shiny quarters. As you wait in line, you are overjoyed to find that you have 75 cents in nickels! Exactly 75 cents...the amount necessary to get the cheapest item in the machine. You smile triumphantly and browse the cracker row, making your selection. Something that will tide me over until lunch but won't be too filling, you muse to yourself (again, not aloud...honestly, it wasnt a lesson you had to be taught twice). Finally, your turn! You carefully place the nickels in the slot, watching the screen register your investment: 5, 10, 15,....you don't even care that other people are waiting impatiently behind you...you can almost taste the chedder cheese, ..70, ... Sign That Your Day Is Actually Looking The Opposite Direction of Up and That You Should Really Have Thrown in the Towel Years Ago
...FUCK. Where’s that other nickel?! You know there was another nickel! Realizing that class starts in 30 seconds, you admit defeat and press the change button to get back your lousy 14 nickels. As you stand there in front of the machine, hearing each nickel drop, you try to ignore the people behind you who are now shifting positions, sighing, and avoiding your glance…probably silently judging you as well. You think back to a minute ago, when your heart was full of optimism and you were ready to embrace the world with open arms. You laugh a cynical laugh…more of a chuckle really. You realize that you just laughed out loud. FUCK. You realize that you just said the word FUCK out loud. You grab your nickels, mutter something about not being hungry anymore (as a futile attempt to make those around you believe that you chose not to buy anything), and run to class. No one will ever have to know about this, you whisper to yourself.