Hypothetically Speaking...

Have you ever come home after a long and unproductive day, sat down on your highly impractical IKEA couch, opened three rejection letters from very polite assholes who "despite your impressive background, cannot offer you a job at this time", stared at the blank tv screen wondering where the remote was and why you weren't born with telekinetic powers or Inspector Gadget arms, admitted defeat after several attempts to hone any telekinetic powers you might have missed, drank the wine left over from the night before while you made confetti out of the rejection letters, then sat in the dark for an hour with shreds of paper all over as you reexamined your life, faced with the realization that your parents should have used better protection?

No? Me neither.