Anonymous Letter to Rob and Amber of "The Amazing Race"

Dear Bastard Rob and Personality-less (yes, its a word. fuck you.) Amber,

I see that you both came in first place tonight. You must be very proud of yourselves. I'm sorry I didn't catch the entire show so I'm not up to speed on how you acheived yet another stolen victory. Did you hijack another cab? Bribe another bus driver with other people's money? Threaten to abort the baby of a pregnant Argentinian woman with your pocket knife unless she gave you directions to the finish line? Whatever it was, i'm sure it was worth it. You are truly an inspiration to all of us here in Hell.