Dear Future Boyfriend, The Man You Will Never Live Up To:

Chris Martin.

Fun things I learned firsthand from attending the Coldplay Concert last night:

1) Chris Martin's bodyguards are not afraid to push women.

2) Chris can really run.

3) That is most likely the closest i will ever be to a beautiful man who can play the piano, sing, be funny, socially aware, and have a sexy accent...*

*According to my mother, that's probably the closest i'll ever be to a man. Period.

I'm gonna go swallow a bottle of pills now.