Dear MacGuyver, Enclosed is a rubber band, a paper clip, and a drinking straw. Please save my dog.

As I stood on the cramped metro on my way to school today, trying to avoid the stare of a homeless man (pure conjecture based on his unique scent and large collection of plastic bags) standing directly in front of me , I noticed a Public Service Announcement that called for citizen preparedness "in case of a natural disaster or terrorist attack."

Specifically the poster advised stocking up on lots of water, flashlights, batteries, and canned goods in case, say, a hurricane, or, i dont know, an outbreak of smallpox should hit sometime soon. I have only two problems with this undoubtedly well-intentioned announcement:

1) Obviously, its a clever way to get the public to accept terrorist attacks as natural and inevitable.

2) I've spent the last two hours staring at the water and flashlights in my makeshift "natural disaster or terrorist attack supply closet" and i'm still a little cloudy about how they'll keep me from blowing up.

On a side note, i've heard that the scene of a natural disaster is a great place to meet people. Unfortunately, i have not witnessed this firsthand, but i imagine it would go something like this:

Me: Oh My God. Did you see that hord of locusts sweep through town killing everyone and everything?
IHSRG*: Yes! I did. It was...devastating.
Me: It just makes you realize...
IHSRG: ...that life...
Me: ...is so...
Me and IHSRG (in perfect unison): short.

(commence makeout session).

I'm not sure if the aftermath of a terrorist attack is quite as sexy. I'd personally be a little more cautious...especially if you normally go for accents or the tall, dark, and handsome type.

*IHSRG= Incredibly Hot Single Rich Guy