Celebrate the Trashing of Your Vows

I'ts a problem that's gone unnoticed far too long. According to humanitarian Cathy Gallagher, 60 - 80% of men, and up to 65% of women have nowhere to turn when it comes to expressing their lust and admiration for that special someone they're having an affair with.

Tragic. (we request a moment of silence).

Lucky for the world, Cathy refuses to sit back and watch her fellow citizens pace the greeting card aisles in vain, searching endlessly for that unique card that will let Tammy know how much her extra-secretarial duties have meant to her boss, or thank Bill for missing his son's 5th birthday party to make that "business trip."

The idea to create a new line of greeting cards geared towards people involved in extra-marital affairs came to Cathy after a romantic discussion with her husband: "There were all these different people we knew that were involved in [affairs] and I thought that must be a really difficult situation to be in."

Difficult indeed. Affairs are hard enough to juggle alongside a family and career...it's only fair and logical that there be greeting cards to make sure they don't sour too quickly. You must never underestimate the power of a simple "At four o'clock on thursday afternoons when my wife takes the kids to piano lessons, I love you" on a pastel card with a bunny on the cover.

Being sensitive to the situation, Cathy also assures us that when the cards are in stores, they will be discreetly labeled with words like "Love Expressions" or "Intimacy," as opposed to say, "Adulterers" or "Cheating Sluts." Asked about her next line of greeting cards, Cathy wipes a tear off her cheek, clears her throat, and begins a heartfelt discussion on the plight of online sex offenders.

Look for Upcoming Story: "Man Shoots Wife Dead After Greeting Card Mix-Up."